I spend a lot of time trolling through Kickstarter, and some of what I find tends towards the befuddling instead of the cool.

TASER YOUR CANDLES. That’s pretty much all I see every time I look at this page. The ArcLighter is an electronic way to light your candles, incense, paper, toothpicks, and more. It actually looks like it could be pretty handy, but I can’t get over the fact that you are tasering things to set them on fire.

Pretty much everyone loves chocolate and wine. You can even buy chocolate to pair with your wine. But why stop there! Why not drink your wine out a chocolate glass. Loving Cups has  your decadent experience ready to go. All I can think about is this cup melting all over you as you try to drink your wine. And then you have to eat the cup right? Other then the chocolate dissolving into your wine, how else are you going to eat it? Also, chocolate dissolved in my wine sounds gross. I guess they look cool, but it seems like it will make it difficult for you to swirl your wine and comment on its clarity like a snob.

Have you ever been chowing down on your Chobani and thought, “Nooooo, I can’t get every bit of the yogurt out without licking the cup lick an uncivilized barbarian.” Well, never fear, Spoonani is here for you. This spoon is made to get yogurt out of every cranny of your Chobani so you can nom like a gentleman/lady. Bonus – if you pledge at $100 you can get your Spoonani gold-plated. Three people have gold-plated yogurt spoons coming to them. That’s it, I quit.